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When a guy needs time to think about a relationship

Jacklyn Bystritsky. Sally LeBoy. Katherine Woodworth. This is never a great time in the relationship. After all, if things were great, you would not need a break. There are many reasons why this would be the case.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: What To Do When He Says He Needs Space - 4 Things You MUST Know When A Guy Asks For Space

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How To Give Him Space So That He Misses You And Comes Back - VixenDaily Love Advice

Boyfriend of 6 months said he needs time to think about me. Pls see details. What shall I do?

This is a space to ask questions, share experiences and support each other. Find a relevant thread or start your own! Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia. However for the first time that night he revealed that he was so close to killing himself when he found out about his ex and his cousin and I felt that was the catalyst. Never gave reasons why. The problem is, we are practically in a relationship without the actual label. Eventually he admitted that he needs space and time to think before he talks to me again.

I agreed to give him space because I needed it too. I broke the no-contact rule because I was ready and realised how much I actually love him and wanted to tell him but then I discovered he spiraled out of control during our short break.

He started smoking again he quit for more than 10 years , got high and drank when he planned to stop drinking for at least 6 months. What should I do? Sounds like classic fear of abandonment, he's trying to test and push you away to see if you'll stay.

Drinking, smoking etc is his coping technique because he hasn't developed healthy techniques to deal with the trauma he experienced. I'd try and remain open to him, empathetic but not sympathetic. And tell him to try psychologist counselling with him, in which you'll be there too support him. He seems to have a lot of work to do on himself. You do seem like you might trigger something in him. He has issues that he needs sorting out or else this pattern will continue in every relationship going forward.

I still care for my ex, he is a wonderful guy when he is well. Hi Jess, thanks for replying back. I know 6 months sounds relatively short. Everything I feel for him is so foreign to me. We were seeing each other almost every week. There was one time he had a panic attack at work and he was freaking out but he trust me to calm him down. I feel for you so much as you face such conflicting emotions within yourself.

I see you've been given a lot of good advice, which I hope has helped. I know it sounds simplistic but relationships basically come down to how we relate to others as well as our self. I believe a key element to how we relate positively involves ' com mon promises ' aka compromises.

Compromises can often resolve conflict of just about any nature:. It's important to keep in mind that compromises are a kind of promise.

You don't want to be dealing with a lot of broken promises in the relationship. Accepting ongoing broken promises from another can impact our self-esteem over a period of time. Self-esteem basically involves 1 Believing we are deserving of respect and 2 Believing in our ability to cope with any situation good or bad no matter the outcome. Eg: I will respect myself and be confident in my ability to cope if the relationship does not work out.

You sound like an extremely thoughtful person Pinky20, in your commitment to helping him get through this. It's important that you remain thoughtful in regard to the promises you need to keep to yourself in the way of your own mental health and well-being. Set some boundaries and take care of yourself. By the way, you have every right to demand that he share equal responsibility for the positive progress of the relationship. If he cannot share, then it becomes about you maintaining the relationship on your own.

As you would agree, not such a good thing. Thank you for the very insightful advice. Your point about compromises is what I needed to hear. I know men and women are very different when it comes to communicating and expressing emotions.

Me being a girl wants him to be more of a speaker and say more to what I said so I can see that he took everything I said into account. I eventually cracked and confronted him with an ultimatum because I got fed up with him constantly saying he will talk to me when he is ready without giving me a reason. He took it very harshly and became defensive by denying the relationship and that he feels pressured everytime I message him when he said he needed space.

Fair point. So I said, ok it is your call anyways. It was harsh but the truth hit him hard. We will talk soon ok. So yes, I am now convinced that I have triggered him and got his emotions and feelings all tangled along with his issues. After this conversation, it was a validation for me that he is going through a slump and I do want to give him space. Is this common behaviour for him to react like that? Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.

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Cancel The title field is required! He's clearly been triggered by you in regards to what happened with his ex. Because he hasn't dealt with it, he brings it with him to this relationship. Sounds like classic fear of abandonment, he's trying to test and push you away to see if you'll stay Drinking, smoking etc is his coping technique because he hasn't developed healthy techniques to deal with the trauma he experienced I'd try and remain open to him, empathetic but not sympathetic.

And tell him to try psychologist counselling with him, in which you'll be there too support him Best of luck. I told him that it was out of character and I hope he can really see that it was and that I care so much for him that is affecting my mental health. He told me he needs another week before we speak again. I can relate to what you are saying. I thought I was reading about my ex. It can be hard to navigate. Is it a common trait for someone depressed to purposely ignore my message?

It kind of hurt me knowing he was intentionally trying to ignore me. He responded back asking for more time, just give him another week and reassured me we will talk soon. Strangely he even used a smiley emoji after I told how I felt about this ordeal. It makes me feel bad and that he has something against me. Hello Pinky20, I'm sorry to say but statements like "I like you but I just can't do relationships" are a red flag.

It feels like you make be hanging on with the belief you can 'fix' or change this attitude. I can see in this thread that you are spending an awful lot of time concerned about his needs and his feelings, at the expense of your own.

Six months is a relatively short amount of time. If I were in your situation, I would be cutting my losses and moving on. Sometimes when we fall for someone, we can be projecting the ideal of what we want them to be rather than looking at who they actually are. This is not a person who is capable of providing you with mutual love and support at this time.

It might also be worth taking some time to examine why you are so attracted to this person, in spite of how you've been treated, and think about your past relationships to see if a similar pattern is there.

Sometimes when we don't feel so good about ourselves, we can be drawn to people who reject us because deep down we don't believe we are deserving of being loved and respected for who we are. As a former 'rescuer', this is something I can identify with. Hello, I'm sorry to hear you are in that situation.

I am experiencing similar problems and I think it's going to be hard to move forward because he is stuck in a loop. It's so good of you to stay supportive and to try and be there for him when he decides to commit to you again. However, this situation is so taxing for you and he doesn't seem to know himself what the resolution will be.

I think it would help to think about what your limits are and how long you can be kept in the dark about what he wants. You deserve to be with someone who is ready to move forward. The relationship seems unbalanced and it's important you know for yourself what you need from your partner and if stability is something's can give you and if Its worth waiting for. It's not an easy situation and there's no time limit on how long he needs to resolve his inner turmoil.

Look after yourself and try and keep yourself busy and do things that bring joy to you. Only he can make the choice to let go and heal his pain in his own time. Find happiness within yourself, feel strong and know you deserve someone who is ready to learn from his past to move forward. Hi Pinky20 I feel for you so much as you face such conflicting emotions within yourself.

Compromises can often resolve conflict of just about any nature: Compromising with yourself: 'I will wait for him' vs 'I don't want to wait for him' becomes 'I will wait for him for a week and that is it'.

Keep this promise to yourself Compromising with your partner: 'I will wait for you for a week. Anything beyond this conveys a lack of respect and consideration toward me'. Thank you, Sarra. It is definitely taxing me so I will give him another a few days since he said he needed one more week. Stay in touch with us Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.

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Men are complicated creatures. They need constant attention, a lot of love, and they like to "hunt" the women they are interested in. Sometimes it is good to give a man what he wants: the opportunity to hunt you. Regardless of relationship status, we give you fifteen tips how to give space to the man you are interested in and how to make him miss you, whether it's a long-term relationship or an ex that you want to come back to you.

When you find yourself in a serious relationship, there are some phrases and words that can cut you like a knife. When you are certain that you have found Mr.

You went on a hot date last night and it was a hit! Uhhh, what? Unfortunately not, and it is gut-wrenching. And in some cases a man may start to feel this way when he is falling deeply in love with you.

What to Do When He Says He Needs Space

It can be incredibly confusing, you and your girls agree. Things were going great for a while. You were sure that he was into you. You went on dates. Maybe you even got busy in the bedroom. You started imagining the potential of a future with this guy. When women hear a guy needs space , they typically rush in to try and fix things. In this video, I explain three reasons why men pull away and why a guy might say he needs space, as well as what you can do about it.

Here’s Exactly What To Do When He Says He Needs Space

This is a space to ask questions, share experiences and support each other. Find a relevant thread or start your own! Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia. However for the first time that night he revealed that he was so close to killing himself when he found out about his ex and his cousin and I felt that was the catalyst. Never gave reasons why.

These six little words usually arrive out of the blue and plunge you into a world of confusion.

Okay, it's totally you. But there's another super normal and classic line that guys tell you and it can be just as confusing Okay, definitely more.

Why Men Pull Away, What It Means, & What To Do When It Happens

Being left wondering why men pull away when things seemed really good in relationships can leave anyone feeling confused, panicked, and rejected. The first thing you should know is that this isn't necessarily a bad thing for your relationship. In fact, when you accept his request and give him space, it can actually be an opportunity to bring you closer together as a couple.

Messages You have no messages. Notifications You have no notifications. All Topics. Type your question. Enter more details. Boyfriend of 6 months said he needs sometime to understand his feelings for me.

What Does It Mean When a Guy Says He’s Confused and He Needs Time to Think?

Few things are as frightening or nerve-wracking as a man needing space. You try to figure out what you could have done wrong, and you strategize about ways to make things better and get the relationship back on track. The way they process and experience things is different. Taking space is a natural coping mechanism for most men, just as seeking out support from friends and loved ones is a natural coping mechanism for most women. When a man needs space, it often has little, if anything, to do with you. The number-one reason a man pulls away is because he is stressed.

Mar 6, - My boyfriend told me he needed space and I burst into tears because I thought he that he needs more time to get to the place in your relationship where you already are. Consider all the pros and cons of your relationship.

His ex-wife keeps pulling him back by sending the kids to talk to him. She divorced him 8 months ago and was cheating with another man for more than a year and a half. We just kissed and we decided to take it seriously but slowly. Then he came to me asking for time to think and wanting to be alone because the kids talked to him again. I stopped dating for a long time after a huge disastrous break-up.

When a Guy Says He Needs Time to Think, What Does That Mean?

Photo by Shutterstock. Why do men need space in relationships? Why do they get distant after sex or pull away when they are falling in love?

The One Perfect Thing to Say When a Man Says He Needs “Space”

Now, listen carefully: what you do after he asks you for space is super important. When guys get upset, they like to go into their shell to get some perspective on the issue at hand. If you spend tons of time with someone but you fight all the time, no one would call that a great relationship.

The anxiety of a man needing space.

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What Does It Mean When a Guy Says He’s Confused and He Needs Time to Think?

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