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How to get good friends wikihow

Updated: November 25, References. It takes time to become good friends with someone. There is a process of introducing yourself, getting to know a person, and building a friendship over time. Some people have a very easy time making friends, while others find it to be challenging.

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Being a good friend isn't always easy, but taking the time to nurture a lasting friendship is worth every ounce of effort. Good friendships provide strength, happiness, and meaning in ways that social media or striving for popularity cannot. Moreover, be dependable by following through on what you say you'll do, especially when your friend is going through a hard time.

Also, if you want your friend to trust you, own your mistakes and apologize when necessary. To learn more from our Professional Counselor co-author about how to stay loyal and make your friendships last, keep reading!

Did this summary help you? Yes No. Log in Facebook. No account yet? Create an account. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Article Edit. Learn why people trust wikiHow. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice.

There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Explore this Article Becoming a Good Friend. Being Trustworthy. Remembering to Include Your Friends. Being Supportive. Making Your Friendship Last.

Show 2 more Show less Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Listening Tips. Sample Ways to Be Respectful. Part 1 of Keep your promises.

Don't ever make a promise that you can't keep—or at least don't make a habit of it. If you say you'll hang out with a friend and a legitimate conflict arises, explain the situation.

If you just cannot go, give your friend a gift and tell him or her sorry. Nobody's perfect, and it's okay if you have to break a promise once in a blue moon, but don't make it a regular thing.

If this is recurring over time, then you will probably be seen as untrustworthy. If you promised a friend something important, keep your promise and don't risk the loss of a friend. Do not break any such promise, as that will hurt your friend. It might even break your friendship! Be dependable. Being dependable is one of the most important aspects of being a good friend.

Your friend will need you for support, especially in hard times. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who actually isn't interested in them.

It's hard to rely on a person who doesn't behave in a consistent and trustworthy way. We all know well-intentioned but flaky people who say, "Okay, I will If that's you, know that you're eroding your friends' trust; eventually, they'll stop believing what you say.

Instead, be honest about the fact that you're not sure if you can make it. Your friends should always feel like they can count on you, even when the going gets tough. If you're only there for the fun times, you'll be no more than a fair-weather friend. Apologize when you've made a mistake. If you want your friends to trust you, then you can't act like you're flawless.

If you know you've made a mistake, own up to it instead of being in denial. Though your friends won't be happy that you made a mistake, they'll be very pleased that you're mature and grounded enough to admit it instead of just pretending that nothing is wrong, or worse -- blaming it on someone else. Let your friends hear the sincerity in your voice instead of thinking that you don't care how they feel. You should also mean it, take the time to explain to your friend the misunderstanding or how you feel bad and want to fix your relationship.

Allow yourself to be honest and vulnerable. If you want to be a good friend and to have people trust you, then you have to be honest about your feelings, about your friends' actions, and about how you feel about your friendship.

If you're honest about how you feel and allow yourself to be vulnerable with your feelings, that will open up direct lines of communication with your friends and will make them more likely to open up to you. If your friend hurt you, don't be afraid to talk about it; if something is upsetting you, don't feel too shy to open up to your friend about it. If you think your friend has a drinking problem, for example, then you owe it to your friend to start a conversation about it.

But if you think your friend looks kind of weird in her new dress, you may want to keep your mouth shut. Be real. Connect with people whom you value on a deep level if you want to have sustainable, long-term friendships. Invest in people you can be yourself around. If your behavior lacks sincerity, your friendship won't last. Be honest about how you really feel even if you think your friend might disagree. Disagree with your friend in a respectful way. Let your friend know what you think and why.

Just make sure that you are being respectful when you share your point of view. If you start to feel upset, take a moment to notice these feelings and any physical response you are having as well. It is normal to feel angry, but it will be much easier to respond in a respectful way if you calm yourself down first.

Speak your mind directly and be brave when you do so. It is not easy to oppose a friend, especially if they do or say something hateful or mean-spirited.

Don't use people. If one of your friends suspects that you're just using them, then they'll drop you like a hot potato. Good friendships don't arise from hoping someone else's popularity or networks will rub off on you. If you're trying to be friends with a person just to get into a certain clique, that's not friendship — it's opportunism — and eventually, the shallow nature of your involvement will reveal itself.

And if you have a reputation of using people, then new people won't be too excited to start a friendship with you. A friendship is about giving and taking. Sure, it may be convenient that one of your friends gives you a ride to school every day, but make sure that you do something for that friend in return.

Be loyal. If your friend tells you something in confidence, keep it and don't talk about it with anyone else, just as you'd expect your friend to do for you. Don't discuss your friend behind his or her back, and don't spread rumors about the confidences they've imparted to you.

Never say anything about your friend that you would not be prepared to repeat to their face. Be loyal to your true friends and be prepared to defend them if your new friends, or people you barely know, start gossiping about them. Don't throw all that away just to spend all your time hanging out with your new boyfriend or girlfriend or a cool new person you just met. Remember that your friends might feel left out.

If you have a reputation for being a blabbermouth or a gossip, then your friends will quickly find out and they'll be hesitant to reveal anything personal to you in the future -- or even to spend much time with you at all. Don't let others say bad things about your friend, either. Until you've had a chance to hear your friend's side of the story, treat comments that are not supportive as hearsay and rumors.

If someone says something that shocks you and doesn't seem like a thing your friend would do or say, then respond with something like, "I know them, and that doesn't sound right. Until then, I would appreciate it if you didn't spread that around. Be respectful. Good friends show respect for each other by being openly and mutually supportive. If your friend has certain values and beliefs that don't align with your own, respect his or her choices and be open to hearing more about them.

If you want your friend to trust you, then your friend should feel comfortable voicing opinions that you may not agree with, or discussing a new perspective with you. If your friend thinks that you'll shoot down any interesting or original idea that they may have, then your friendship won't be valued.

Sometimes your friend will say things that you find boring, uncomfortable or annoying, but if you have respect for your friend, you'll give your friend the space to speak, and to do so without judgment. During times when you don't see eye to eye with your friend, disagree respectfully and be willing to see things differently. Part 2 of

Updated: November 7, References. Being a good friend may take some work and patience, but having a great gal pal is worth the effort. Be sure to talk to your friend regularly, hang out when you can, show your support, and act trustworthy. With some effort and care, you can strengthen your current friendships or befriend someone new!

The relationship between best friends is one of the most important ones we experience in our lives. Most of the time this comes naturally, but every once in a while we need to remind ourselves of the things we do that make some friends more special than others.

Updated: June 24, References. For many people, it's hard to find a good quality friend. To find good friends, try your best to put yourself out there by joining a few clubs and attending events in your community. By doing things that you enjoy, you're more likely to meet like-minded people and become friends with them!

One of the most important parts of deepening your friendship is learning how to be a good friend by being supportive and handling conflict respectfully when it comes up. Log in Facebook. No account yet? Create an account. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Article Edit. Learn why people trust wikiHow.

Meeting new people and making friends can be overwhelming, but with a little effort and willingness to step outside of your comfort zone, you can easily make friends. Start by getting yourself out there and looking for places to socialize, like a local club or volunteer organization. Once you start meeting new people, take some time to get to know them and hang out together. Tip: There are lots of online resources for finding groups that share your interests.

Having good friends is very beneficial to your physical and mental health.

Sometimes the friends you have are almost as bad for your health and well-being as your detractors and enemies. If you've got the sort of friends who fail to support you, who drag you down and involve you in shady, unhealthy or dangerous things, then they're not doing you any good. If you've got friends who always take and never give, who throw drama scenes instead of treat friendship as a two-way activity, then it's time to consider how you might find yourself friends who do care, who don't mess up your life and who give a damn about you. Try the following suggestions to get yourself back onto the good friendship track.

Just like any other relationship, a friendship requires that you put in the work. If you feel like you're drifting away from your friend or simply want to make an existing friendship stronger, there are ways to strengthen your bond. If you regularly communicate and take the proper steps to be a supportive friend, you can overcome any conflict and maintain your friendship for the long run.

Being a good friend isn't always easy, but taking the time to nurture a lasting friendship is worth every ounce of effort. Good friendships provide strength, happiness, and meaning in ways that social media or striving for popularity cannot. Moreover, be dependable by following through on what you say you'll do, especially when your friend is going through a hard time. Also, if you want your friend to trust you, own your mistakes and apologize when necessary. To learn more from our Professional Counselor co-author about how to stay loyal and make your friendships last, keep reading! Did this summary help you?

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Jump to Getting to Know Each Other - Get out in social places. To meet new people and make good friends, you'll need to be where people are interacting.

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